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All of Woman’s Friends Know Intimate Details About her Husband’s Range of Motion

Numerous sources indicate that every single person in Maria Graves’ friend group knows explicit information about her husband Blake Dixon’s range of motion.

“She tells us after every physical therapy session,” said Johanna Morse, casually sipping a margarita. “It’s no big deal. I doubt he’d care.”

Most of Graves’ friends could recite Dixon’s latest popliteal angles, hip rotations, and more with ease.

“Last Thursday, his unilateral popliteal angle was 33.1 degrees,” said Morse without hesitation. “The week before, his ankle dorsiflexion with knee extension angle was 12.3 degrees. Or was it 12.1? Hang on.” She quickly sent a text to ask Graves. 

Dixon, who has spastic cerebral palsy, appeared baffled when asked whether he talks with his friends about such matters.

“Sometimes they’ll ask how often I have physical therapy and I’ll say something like, ‘You know, regularly,’ and then we move on,” said Dixon, shrugging. “Who would want to know more?”

Dixon’s physical therapist refused to comment, citing the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) Privacy Rule, but added, “That’s a creepy question.”

Shortly before press time, Morse contacted us to let us know that Dixon’s ankle dorsiflexion with knee extension angle was actually 12.4 degrees.

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