J.K. Rowling, reality-estranged billionaire, author and all-around spiteful person, has published her latest persecution complex, “The Ink Black Heart.” The new doorstop, clocking in at a lean thousand pages, dares to ask the question: “Does being hateful to marginalized communities mean I have to face consequences?”
Excerpts circulating on social media show that the book contains references to spoonie Tumblr and ableism at large and expresses great disdain for yet another marginalized community. Rowling is infamous for her repeated attacks on trans people in general and figured, for her latest screed, “Who else can I insult this time? Surely, there has to be another minority I’m not remotely qualified to speak for that needs a good thrashing.”
Other iterations of the “book” will be a Braille edition made exclusively of thorns, an audio book that’s over thirty hours of outtakes from Lou Reed’s “Metal Machine Music” and a large print edition that alternates, every other word, between Comic Sans and Papyrus. All of these editions are available at bookstores near you, but only on the very top shelf.
Ex-fan Amelia Schroeder, whose pronouns are she/they, had this to say: “Like many others in my generation, I grew up with her books. But when she attacked the trans community, I was no longer wild about Harry. Ironically though, this book is great for those of us with POTS, given Rowling’s extremely high levels of saltiness.”
In her desperate pursuit of relevance, Rowling has made it clear that she’ll do and say anything controversial without a shred of concern for those who will be hurt by it.