Local

Girl Boss! This Woman Hasn’t Turned her Hearing Aids on for a Meeting in Six Years

Lilian O’Donnell, 29, never envisioned herself becoming a feminist inspiration, at least not while doing the bare minimum at her mediocre office job. And yet it’s that exact apathetic attitude that has earned her recognition from countless working women.

“I just knew if I had to hear one more coworker say, ‘Can we circle back for a second?’ hence prolonging the already endless meeting, I’d lose my mind,” O’Donnell said, shaking her head in slow horror at the memory of the days when she actually listened in meetings.

The first time O’Donnell reached up and popped open the battery compartment behind her ear, switching off her hearing aid, she told herself it’d be a one-time thing. Just one little break. Then she did it again the next day … and the next.

“What’s amazing is how easy it is to fake,” O’Donnell admitted. “Every once in a while I do a slow nod and a pensive hum while scribbling some fake cursive on my notepad. If someone looks directly at me I just say, ‘Absolutely. Let’s touch base later.’ Or, ‘Great. I’ll send you a follow-up email.’”

At the time of this reporting, O’Donnell has never once sent a follow-up email and has touched zero bases.

When word spread of O’Donnell’s corporate heist, women everywhere rallied behind her.

“Men have been slacking off and getting by for generations. O’Donnell is living proof that the time for women to try less and shine more is here,” said Ohio State University business major and O’Donnell fan Lisa Moore.

“It’s weird,” Moore added. “You’d think this story would be about how she’s overcome her disability to get a real job. But honestly that’s not even what’s inspiring. It’s the fact that she just doesn’t let anyone or anything waste her time. What a true girl boss. Save that energy for yourself, girl.”

When asked if she ever planned to tune in to a meeting again, O’Donnell was adamant in her answer.

“Hell no! If I’ve learned anything over the past six years it’s that meetings are useless. Plus, I’ve saved so much money on hearing aid batteries now that I’m not wasting them on hearing showy buzzwords and unproductive discussions.”

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: