Local

Mediocre Disabled Employee Fails to Inspire Co-worker

In the small rural town of Plartsville, visually impaired Taco Bell employee Rashida Thomas is inspiring local residents. That is, except for one.

Thomas’s shift partner, Jillian Roberts, who also attends John S. Pillsbury Memorial High School, is unimpressed and uninspired by her disabled co-worker and classmate.

“I guess I just don’t see the big deal?” said the teen, dressed in her yellow Lizzo hoodie.

“Have you ever tried to feed Doritos Locos Tacos to 40 drunk men after a Minnesota Vikings game? It’s hard but all of us manage to get it done. And honestly, Rashida isn’t even one of our better employees. Like, she always mixes up the Fiesta Chili Sauce with the Bangin’ Jalapeño Cheddar, and she can’t even fix the Baja Blast machine when it gets clogged from the cotton candy syrup.”

Thomas surprisingly agrees with this, and doesn’t quite understand why her other co-workers call her “Taco Master Supreme.” “Just because I’m visually impaired they seem to think I’m, like, extra talented, but really this job is just to help me save up for college. I put in, like, almost no effort and just kinda hope for the best. It helps that all of our menu items use, like, four ingredients. I’m sure I could do the job well if I really tried, but, like, is it worth it? I don’t think so.”

When asked about her seemingly nonexistent enthusiasm, her manager Bill Buxton felt otherwise. “Rashida the Supreme Queen is a true superstar here. Folks may come for our new 99-cent Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes, but they leave with a heart full of optimism and a deeply inspired soul.”

While her parents declined to comment, they were spotted recently at a local convenience store where Thomas was caught shoplifting White Claw, calling her “ungrateful” and “nothing like (her) older brother.”

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